Redefine yourself

One of the challenges of transforming your body and life is that it takes some time for your mental image and perception of yourself to catch up with your physical reality. Just like it took looking at myself in a picture, instead of in the mirror, to see how fat and out of shape I'd become, it's taking time for me to see myself positively in the mirror now that I'm fit. Likewise, it's taking time for me to think of myself positively.

I still find myself in front of the mirror, turning and spinning, pushing on my belly and wondering if it should be flatter, and wishing I could see some more muscle definition in my legs. When I see other people who work out, I can appreciate the positive changes in their bodies, but it's hard for me to notice it in my own. Even when I'm achieving a new personal record on an exercise, I wonder whether that's actually a "good number," even if it's a good number for me. I think women, especially, can be so hard on ourselves in this way.

I was reminded of this the other evening. My daughter was sick, and I'd taken her in to be seen by a doctor. As the nurse checked her pulse, I asked what the normal range was for a child her age. The nurse answered, "well it's a bit elevated because of her fever." I agreed that would be the case and then said, "but what's the normal range? I mean, my resting heart rate is around 62." The nurse looked at me and said, "well, you're athletic."

Me? Athletic? Let me assure you that no one has ever referred to me as athletic in my entire life. I'm the girl who played right field in little league and batted 9th, because I could do the least amount of damage that way. I'm the one who was always picked last for teams, and who never played field hockey, basketball, lacrosse, or soccer. I'm the girl who took weightlifting two out of every four marking periods in gym, because I would not be expected to run and no one would hit me on the head with a basketball.

So while I was pleased by her offhand comment, I was also confused. Was she right? WAS I now athletic? It had never occurred to me to think of myself this way. But at the same time, perhaps she was had a point. After all, doesn't it take an athletic woman to do four chin-ups, two sets of thirty push-ups, and complete 170 16kg kettlebell swings in five minutes?

I thought I'd share this experience as a good reminder that as we change our lives, people who have never met us will perceive us differently than the way we see ourselves. And that should be a clue that we HAVE changed, and old labels may no longer apply. So as you change your body, your health, and your life, don't forget to redefine the kind of person you are, and what things are important to you.

Athletic? Let me look in this mirror a little longer and maybe...just maybe...I'll be able to see myself that way too.